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21 October 2007 @ 02:56 pm
Transformers Anonymous Kink Meme  
THE KINK MEME HAS BEEN MAXXED! Go here: http://community.livejournal.com/tfanonkink/

I'm sure we've all seen one of these at some point. And I was sitting in front of my computer late at night (goddamn innsomnia) and it hit me. Transformers doesn't have it's own kink meme. And I was like "EHHH?!" Seriously, the fandom itself is a kink and we don't have a kink meme. How screwed up is that?

Here's how it works:

** You ANONYMOUSLY post a kink request you've always wanted to read but were too afraid/embarrassed to ask for or write yourself. Random folk will read your request and write you a drabble or ficlet, also ANONYMOUSLY.


** Pretty much all Transformer fandoms go. Go wild people.

** You can make and fulfill as many requests as you like. Feedback (also ANONYMOUS) is highly encouraged, though not exactly a rule. Fics can be any length, full ficcage to a few sentences.

** If someone has already written for a particular request you can still write something too! No limits here.

** If you make a request, try to respond to one as well to keep the meme active.

** Remember this is a kink meme, not a pairing meme. Don’t just list the pairing you want to see a story about but what you’d like to see them doing.
Wrong way: I want some Bee/Sam action!
Right way: I want to see Bee/Sam bondage while the other bots watch! (seriously, I would love that)

List of Kinks
Kink Meme FTW: List of Different Memes
Transformers Anonymous Kink Meme Archive Post by sister_dear
Feeling: weirdweird
(Anonymous) on March 11th, 2009 09:56 pm (UTC)
If it looks like rape and sounds like rape...
Well then it's probably rape, right?
In "Atlantis Rising" when Wheeljack gets hit with that what's it and Starscream opens him up and fiddles with his internals. Well, boy howdy, did that look rapey. I know in the show Spike and Bumblebee come in and save him, but what if they didn't?
Kinks include: non-con, immobilization, cross-faction, and whatever else you want.
Since Starscream's all up in Wheeljack's chest it should maybe be spark-related, but if you wanna throw some plug n' play or even sticky in there that is totes fine.
(Anonymous) on March 11th, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC)
Re: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape...
I thought that bit was remarkably rape-ish, too. So, so seconded.

I'm loving all these Wheeljack prompts! ^_^
(Anonymous) on March 12th, 2009 12:02 pm (UTC)
Re: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape...
I watched that ep recently and thought the same thing. I'm a huge sucker for fics that incorporate canon elements, and Wheeljack is my favorite 'Bot, so I think I'd like to try this.
(Anonymous) on March 12th, 2009 10:33 pm (UTC)
Re: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape...
(OP) If you write this I am willing to pay you in smut.
(Anonymous) on March 13th, 2009 12:18 pm (UTC)
Re: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape...
OooOOOoooo, return fic! Very tempting....

It might take a bit longer than the usual few-days-to-a-week for me to write, because work has gotten crazy lately. I'm currently wrestling with Starscream's motivation, but I've got an idea or two on how to frame it. I'll probably watch the ep again, see what shakes loose in my brain.

Do you have any specific things you'd like to see? Just the scene, aftermath angst? Should 'Jack to enjoy it at all, or do you prefer straight-up non-con?
(Anonymous) on March 13th, 2009 08:23 pm (UTC)
Re: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape...
(OP) YAY, one of my prompts is adopted! Take your time, I know how real life gets in the way of giant robot smut writing, lol.

I think Starscream has a line in that ep about living to destroy Autobots or something similar. Gotta admit, Wheeljack became a real easy target in that episode.

I love me some aftermath angst. Spike and Bumblebee (I'm almost sure) are the ones to rescue him so there's room for angst there and maybe an epilogue at the Ark. As for the non-con, Jack can enjoy it a little, but if he does he should feel awful about it.

What are your thoughts on the return fic?
(Anonymous) on March 13th, 2009 11:15 pm (UTC)
Re: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape...
Great, that lines up pretty well with what I have in mind! Sadly my weekend is turning out to be packed too, but I'll do my best to try and find some time to work on your request.

As for return fic, I'll have to ponder which I want to see more: one of my own prompts, or someone else's. Is there anything you don't feel comfortable writing? Have you written anything else on the meme? I can try to pick something that suits your writing style.

(If you're wondering about my writing style, I wrote LOLOMGBBQ on pg 33, Xenophilia on pg 37 and Skywarp Goes Solo/Thunderstruck on pg 28. I hope you didn't hate those fics.)
(Anonymous) on March 14th, 2009 04:59 am (UTC)
Re: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape...
I haven't written anything on the meme, but (omg de-anonymousing...kinda) here's a link to my lj: http://vonderbarr.livejournal.com/
There isn't really anything I don't feel comfortable writing. I'm not much of a fan of mech/human stuff or Jazz/Prowl and G1 is the only continuity I'm familiar enough with to write in. I'm good at writing fluff and character development, but I'm also a horrible pervert.

Oh man, I liked all those stories. Even the Xenophilia one, and I'm not a fan of mech/human stuff. I am excited!

(Anonymous) on March 18th, 2009 04:30 pm (UTC)
Re: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape...
(writer) I've got the rape scene pretty much done and I've moved on to the angsty aftermath. Would the OP prefer I post the first half right away, or wait and post in entirety when the fic is complete?
(Anonymous) on March 19th, 2009 11:57 am (UTC)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 1
A/N: If brevity is the soul of wit, I am clearly witless. This fic gave me a lot of trouble. I think it’s because I like Wheeljack too much to enjoy torturing him. *pets him* Sorry, ‘Jack.

Someone was touching him.

The awareness crept slowly into Wheeljack’s processor, trickling back through a myriad of external sensors alongside assorted other observations: He was lying facedown, his optics were offline, his motor relays were not responding, and someone was touching him.

He wanted to online his optics, to turn his helm and see who it was, what they were doing. But that ray that Nergill had used on him had done something to his circuits. He wasn't sure what - yet - but the long and short of it was that he couldn't move a micrometer.

He knew because he'd tried. The Sub-Atlantican ruler had laughed at his efforts, and gloated that his new weapon would spell the doom of all Cybertronians, Autobot and Decepticon alike. He had to warn Prime! If only he could move..!

Maybe it was already too late. He couldn’t tell how long he’d been offline. His internal chronometer was glitched. So were his diagnostics. He couldn’t tell how damaged he was. All he knew for certain was that he was lying facedown, blind, unable to move, and someone was still touching him.

It might have been Nergill himself. After claiming Wheeljack as his prisoner, the strange aquatic humanoid had subjected him to numerous scans and probes – an experience only slightly less invasive than one of Ratchet’s maintenance exams – in order to learn more about Cybertronian anatomy. So that he could invent that ray he’d blasted Wheeljack with.

But why continue to study him when it was readily apparent that the invention was a success? It wasn’t logical. And Wheeljack found it hard to believe that it was Nergill touching him anyway – for one thing, the presence he sensed felt much larger, and for another, the continued touches were strangely…clumsy. He didn’t know what to make of it. Whoever was touching him seemed both tentative and determined all at once. Persistent, yet...awkward.

What was it? Who was it? What did they want with him? An Autobot rescuer would speak. A Decepticon wouldn’t be so gentle. A Sub-Atlantican or human wouldn’t be so large.

No, he was sure of it now. Hands. It was definitely hands scraping across his backstruts, pawing at him. Large, metal hands. Cybertronian hands.

His optics abruptly onlined when one of those hands suddenly seized hold of his shoulder and tugged, hard. He was rewarded with a very close-up and heavily static-laden view of the floor. Another firm tug, and he realized that whoever-it-was was trying to turn him over, and had been for several kilks now.

And now at last they succeeded, flipping him onto his back with a jolting crash and half-falling across his chestplate in the process. Wheeljack’s spark leapt in its chamber as he struggled to focus his damaged optics on his rescuer, frustrated by his inability to vocalize his gratitude –

The dark faceplate and scarlet optics glaring balefully down at him were unmistakable. His “rescuer” was the Decepticon Air Commander, Starscream.
(Anonymous) on March 19th, 2009 01:55 pm (UTC)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 2
Wheeljack didn’t like the look Starscream was giving him. It was cold, calculating - malicious. He wouldn’t have liked it under any circumstances, but he especially didn’t like it when he was so utterly defenseless. Being unable to move, unable to speak, barely able to see, and having the Decepticon looming over him like that, staring – it was the stuff of nightmares.

Threats to his existence had never really frightened Wheeljack. He risked himself all the time, readily - carelessly even, if Ratchet’s frequent scoldings were to be believed. Whether it be in pursuit of some new invention, or to protect someone else, he never hesitated.

But he was frightened now. His spark had contracted painfully, and if he’d been able to move, he’d surely have been trembling. Was it because he couldn’t move, couldn’t act? Probably.

The Seeker was scratching at his chestplate now, still strangely clumsy, as if he couldn’t completely control his fingers. Was Starscream damaged as well? Had the Decepticon also been hit by Nergill’s Magnetic Dysfunction Ray? Was he now silently asking Wheeljack for help? Suggesting they work together to escape alive and warn their comrades?

He was opening his chestplate.

Those clumsy, groping fingers had sought out and found the latches and triggered them, opening him up. His spark chamber was laid bare, exposed to the world. Internally Wheeljack keened in terror. Just what was Starscream planning to do to him?

His optics fuzzed over with static and blanked out for 6.5 astroseconds. When they cleared – or rather, returned to their previous blurry-but-semifunctional status – he saw that the Decepticon was gripping his interface cable in one unsteady hand.

Oh, no.

Oh, sweet Primus, NO.

His servos whined as he strained to move, to struggle, to flee, anything. Anything to escape what was coming.

He couldn’t move. His spark chamber was exposed. And Starscream was plugging in to him.
(Anonymous) on March 19th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 2
oh . shit .
i remember that scene, id didnt look... good
(Anonymous) on March 19th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 3
He could feel him.

He could feel Starscream's presence inside him, poking around, invading his processor. His fuel tank churned, wanting to purge its contents. Underneath the easygoing exterior, Wheeljack was a very private mech. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d interfaced – it had been prior to their arrival on Earth, so at least 4 million years – but he was certain it hadn’t involved an uplink. A little frame foreplay, a little field manipulation, sure, but Wheeljack didn’t uplink with just anybody. He had to fully trust someone before he’d allow them direct access to his systems.

But now Starscream - arguably the least trustworthy mech in the known universe - was plugged into him. He wanted to flee. He wanted to purge. He wanted to recoil in revulsion. He wanted to shout in denial. Most of all, he wanted to rip that violating plug out of his intimate access port and expel that hideous presence from his processor.

But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t fight. He couldn’t escape. He couldn’t even scream.

He fought back the only way he could, by bolstering his firewalls, striving frantically to defend his core programming and his most private memory files -- but Nergill’s ray had wreaked havoc on all his systems, and his damaged circuits were functioning with all the sluggish speed of a dial-up internet connection. There was no way Wheeljack would be fast enough to keep Starscream out once the Seeker began to hack him in earnest.

The realization terrified him almost beyond thought, causing his processor to lock up for a few kliks. Panic seized him. He was trapped. Helpless. His spark pulsed wildly, as frantic as a cornered animal that knows a hungry predator is closing in...


Nothing happened.


Nothing was still happening.

Starscream was still plugged in to him; he could feel the unwelcome presence of the Decepticon looming in his processor. But instead of initiating a swift and relentless assault on his CPU, tearing down his firewalls and hacking his way into Wheeljack’s core memory, the Seeker’s presence merely…hovered, seemingly content to linger at the very outermost edges of his consciousness like a black cloud on the distant horizon.

The Autobot inventor wasn’t sure if that was better, or worse.

What was he waiting for?

A creeping thread of cruel amusement slithered over the link as Starscream finally spoke.

“I can feel your fear, Autobot.”
(Anonymous) on March 19th, 2009 07:36 pm (UTC)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 4
With a sound of shifting metal and scraping glass, the Seeker’s weight settled more decisively against him. A slow finger traced its way along the outside of his spark chamber with mock tenderness, and Wheeljack keened internally, conflicted by the uncertain shiver of arousal the touch produced, and the horrified revulsion he felt towards its source. He didn’t want Starscream touching him that way.

The Seeker’s energy field flared, washing over him, making his damaged circuits tingle. It felt...good. It shouldn’t feel good, he didn’t want it to feel good – his spark quailed in horror even as his core temperature spiked. Starscream’s hands were moving over his frame, delving into seams, tweaking wires, and all the while his energy field thrust and probed, mingling with Wheeljack’s, teasing yet implacable.

“Relax,” Starscream purred malevolently. “Trust me, you’re going to enjoy this.”

Wheeljack’s entire frame trembled as he struggled to move, to protest, to do something, anything to stop what was happening to him. His own body, his own circuits had betrayed him, first by refusing to obey his commands, and now again as they yielded to the invasive, unwanted, all-too-skillful ministrations of his foe.

It was horrible. It was humiliating. Starscream was touching him in ways only a lover should, ways the Decepticon had absolutely no right to, and Wheeljack’s treacherous systems were responding to those efforts, responding in spite of his terror and disgust. His core temperature was steadily increasing, rising rapidly to unsustainable levels, his systems quivering on the brink of overload...

“That’s it,” Starscream hissed, rubbing his cockpit against the immobilized Autobot as he continued to push him closer and closer to the edge, his energy field pulsating hard and fast. “Just a little more...”

No, please, I don't want this, please, no - don’t - stop - I can’t -

“Come on, Autobot. Give it up, give it up for me...”

Wheeljack tried to resist, he tried, but he couldn’t hold it back. Circuits sparking, CPU consumed by defeated despair, the Autobot engineer overloaded, his immobilized frame jerking minutely as the abhorrent pleasure tore through him in wave after sweeping wave. Above him, Starscream rocked back as the resulting energy surge blasted across the connection and slammed into him, blazing a searing path through his circuitry.

Reeling in post-overload haze, sickened by shame, Wheeljack once more became aware of Starscream’s presence still lurking at the outer fringes of his consciousness. It dawned on him then that in spite of the Decepticon’s actions, he had felt no passion, no lust, no desire of any kind from the Seeker at any time during the entire encounter, only the same cold, deliberate calculation mingled with smug, sneering disdain. It was only when those emotions were overwhelmed by a sudden burst of fierce, malevolent triumph that the truth finally struck home.

Wheeljack realized with a jolt that the Seeker hadn’t chosen this particular course of action merely for his own twisted pleasure. That was why Starscream hadn’t bothered to hack his CPU, or to complete the link between them! The Decepticon hadn’t wanted an interface, not even a forced one. What he had wanted was energy. He had connected himself to Wheeljack and methodically stimulated him to the point of overload for a single purpose: To absorb the resulting torrent of energy.

Suddenly all the pieces fell into place. Nergill’s Magnetic Dysfunction Ray operated by draining energy from vital Cybertronian systems. Without sufficient energy, motor relays wouldn’t respond, basic functions would begin to fail, and sensors and diagnostics would be rendered useless. Left alone, the victim would ultimately fall into stasis, but with a timely infusion of energy-!

Starscream had known, or figured it out. He had used Wheeljack to replenish his depleted energy reserves. And now the Air Commander was calmly disconnecting himself from his unwilling Autobot donor and rising gracefully to his feet, all traces of his earlier clumsiness gone.

The last thing Wheeljack heard before slipping into stasis lock was the Seeker’s shrill cackle of victory.
(Anonymous) on March 19th, 2009 08:01 pm (UTC)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 4
(OP) Oh wow. I really like what you did with Starscream's motivation. I am very much looking forward to the angsty aftermath!
(Anonymous) on March 19th, 2009 08:26 pm (UTC)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 4
(writer) Yeah, that was part of what gave me trouble, I just couldn't see Starscream taking time out to rape Wheeljack when he had far more pressing concerns - namely himself - to think about.

The angst is giving me a hard time, too. I feel like I'm pouring salt in 'Jack's wounds, and I feel like scum for doing it! But I broke him, so I have to at least try to fix him...
(Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 12:44 pm (UTC)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 5
A/N: And so commences the post-trauma angst. *cry* God, I feel like such a bastard.

He onlined in the repair bay of the Ark. Ratchet was glaring down at him with that familiar expression that made him instinctively want to duck.

“Hey, Ratch,” Wheeljack greeted him cheerfully.

The Autobot CMO made a derisive noise and stalked off with a dismissive wave. “He’s fine. Get him out of my repair bay before I slag him myself.”

Chuckling, the Autobot engineer rose from the berth and headed for his lab. Various other ‘Bots greeted him along the way, asking after his condition, and he responded with his usual good humor. He was fine. Same old Wheeljack.

When he reached his lab, he immediately triggered the locking mechanism on the door and leaned heavily against it.

He couldn’t seem to stop shaking.


Everything had turned out fine, he learned. There had been a pitched battle in the middle of Washington, D.C. Optimus Prime had called in the Dinobots, Nergill had brought out his Magnetic Dysfunction Ray, Starscream had appeared and knocked it out of his hands, and then Grimlock had destroyed it.

In a way, Wheeljack had made it all possible. He was the creator of the Dinobots, and he had also been the one to restore Starscream to full functionality in time for him to intervene.

Somehow, he didn’t feel much like bragging about that.

He hadn’t told anyone what had happened, about what Starscream had done to him. It bothered him more than he cared to admit, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it. Just the thought of vocalizing it made his fuel tank churn and his circuits burn with shame. How would the others react if he revealed that a Decepticon had used him like that? Or worse, that he had - on some level, at least - enjoyed it?

He had overloaded, after all.

That was the part that disturbed him the most. He’d allowed it. He’d let it happen. Oh, maybe not directly – he’d been damaged, immobilized, unable to resist – but in a sense, he had.

If he’d been faster, he could have avoided being taken prisoner. If he’d been less uptight, he wouldn’t have refrained from interfacing for so long, and been less vulnerable to Starscream’s assault, better able to resist. If he’d been smarter, he’d have figured out what Nergill’s ray had done to him like Starscream had, known from the start what Starscream was up to, maybe even come up with a way to escape, rather than just lying there waiting to be rescued.

Lying there and letting Starscream-

So really, it was all his fault.
(Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 02:19 pm (UTC)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 6
He couldn’t recharge.

He’d tried, lain down on the berth and everything, but each time he offlined his optics, he’d feel him. Feel Starscream. Feel the lingering echoes of the Seeker’s presence in his CPU. Feel those knowing hands touching him.

Then he’d get up and purge his tanks again.

His energy reserves had dropped dangerously low. He needed to refuel – and keep it down – or someone, Ratchet probably, would notice something was off about him. And then the questions would start.

Primus, he couldn’t deal with that. He was keeping it together for now – barely – but if someone started questioning him...

Within a few joors, every ‘Bot would know. The Ark was like that. News traveled fast. Bad news traveled faster.

Some would be sympathetic, feel sorry for him, offer him their pity. Certain others might begin to speculate aloud about whether or not the crazy inventor was secretly – or perhaps not so secretly - a ‘Con lover.

He wasn’t sure which was worse.

“Get a grip, ‘Jack,” he muttered to himself, rising wearily from his seat.

He headed for the common room, intent on acquiring an energon ration. He’d take it back to his lab and lock the door. No one would bother him if they thought he was working – they were too wary of potential explosions.

The plan was a good one, right up until the point where he got his cube from the dispenser and turned around – bumping straight into Bumblebee.

“Ooops, sorry – oh, hi, Wheeljack!” the scout piped cheerfully. “How’re you feeling?”

Bumblebee had been the one that found him. Bumblebee and Spike. Found him with his chestplate open. Starscream hadn’t bothered to close it before he left-

Bumblebee frowned when the engineer simply stared at him, offering no response to his greeting.

Spike wouldn’t think anything of it – the humans were ignorant of certain details regarding Cybertronians – but Bumblebee must have noticed. Must have wondered-

“Um...Wheeljack? Are you okay?”

The inventor’s optics flickered. “Fine,” he replied, vocal indicators flashing. “I’m fine.”

“Cause I could comm Ratchet-”

“I said I’m FINE!”

The minibot retreated a step, taken aback. “Right. S-sorry, Wheeljack.”

He departed quickly, feeling Bumblebee’s worried gaze on his retreating back, and doing his best to ignore it.
(Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 02:34 pm (UTC)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 6
Oh man, this is fantastic, I love what you're doing with this prompt.
(Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 02:57 pm (UTC)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 6
(writer) I'm glad someone likes it! I think I kind of failed with the sexy earlier (I just can't seem to write hot non-con) so I'm trying to make up for it with some nice, juicy angst.

Should be more up later today. I'm slowly chipping away at 'Jack's defenses...
(Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 6
(OP) Oh man, the angst is the best part. You're doing a great job with Jack's character as well as rape victim psychology (something a lot of fics gloss over or get just plain wrong.) I heartily approve.

ps. Any thoughts on a return fic I could get started on?
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 6 - (Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 05:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 6 - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 6 - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 11:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 6 - (Anonymous) on March 24th, 2009 12:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 05:22 pm (UTC)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 7
He managed to bury himself in his work, to stay focused on various projects. It kept him from thinking too much.

He’d returned to his lab, drank his energon, and resisted speculating about what Bumblebee knew, or guessed, or what the yellow ‘Bot might have told others about him.

The door was locked. No one commed him. He’d debated setting off a small explosion as an added deterrent, but discarded the idea as too risky. It might draw more attention.

He was fine.

As long as he didn’t have to talk to anyone, or recharge, or refuel, he was fine.

He flung the spanner in his hand across the room in disgust. “SCRAP!”

Someone caught it.

Hearing a sharp, decisive *clink* instead of the expected loud stuttering clatter, Wheeljack turned. The door was locked, how could anyone have-

Ratchet regarded him archly from the doorway, briefly glancing down at the tool balanced casually in his hand before returning his attention to the engineer who’d thrown it.

“Problem, ‘Jack?”

The Autobot inventor shrugged awkwardly. “Not really.”

“I just had a chat with Bumblebee-”

“I’m pretty busy here, Ratch,” Wheeljack interrupted. “Maybe you could come back another-”

“What happened, ‘Jack?”

The CMO’s query was much softer than his usual gruff, crotchety tone. Hearing it made Wheeljack want to wince.

“Didn’t get enough recharge, I guess,” Wheeljack offered evasively. “Sorry I snapped at the little ‘Bot. I’ll make it up to-”

“It was the Sub-Atlanticans, wasn’t it?”

Ratchet was still using that gentle, careful tone. Like a human dealing with a skittish animal.

Wheeljack felt a sudden, irrational surge of hostility towards his longtime friend and colleague. How dare he talk to him like that? Like he was...fragile, or something.

“They did something to you, didn’t they? Bumblebee said your spark ch-”

Wheeljack interrupted again, before Ratchet could actually say it out loud. “It wasn’t the Sub-Atlanticans.”

Cycling his vents in a sigh, his shoulders slumping in defeat, he muttered, “It was Starscream.”

Starscream? But he-”

“Nergill hit him with the Ray, too. Same as me. Only it didn’t work as well on him. Maybe because he’s bigger, or maybe Decepticon programming is different enough from ours that-”

“What did he do?”

Wheeljack just looked at him.

“Oh.” Ratchet was a smart mech. He’d been around. And he was a medic. “Oh.

Wheeljack shrugged uncomfortably.

“Primus, ‘Jack. Why didn’t you say anything?”

The inventor’s vocal indicators flickered fitfully. “No big deal. Everything worked out. Didn’t seem important.”

Not important?! ‘Jack, I’m the CMO! If Starscream hurt you-”

Wheeljack flinched. “He didn’t hurt me. You repaired me yourself, you should know.”

Ratchet sighed. “There’s different kinds of hurt, Wheeljack. Not all of them leave damage you can see. Sometimes the ones that don’t are the hardest to fix.”

“Can you do that, Ratch?” the engineer asked quietly, optics fixed on the floor. “Can you fix this? Fix me?”

“I can try. Why don’t you start by telling me what happened?”
Myrrhibis or VAharleywitchokami_myrrhibis on March 20th, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 7
this is headed in a very nice (aka realistic) direction, as far as PTSD :) And points for Ratchet being understanding w/o uber-pity.
(Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 7
(writer) Thank you, I try. *preen* And Ratchet's gotta be Ratchet, as you'll see below...
(Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 8
He told him.

He related to Ratchet how he’d onlined on the floor, unable to move. How he’d realized someone was touching him, and then discovered it was Starscream.

“...and then he plugged in to me.”

Wheeljack avoided Ratchet’s optics as the words left his vocalizer. They’d come out smoothly, at least. Flat and toneless, but smooth.

Ratchet was silent for a klik, then asked softly, “Did he hack your processor?”

The engineer shook his helm. “No. Wasn’t what he was after.”

“What do you mean?”

“He just wanted a quick recharge.” His vocalizer tried for flippant and failed.

Ratchet frowned in confusion at first. But he knew the effects Nergill’s weapon. He knew the condition Wheeljack had come back in, and how he’d repaired the damage. Realization dawned within astroseconds. “You’re saying he – Starscream, he – ”

“Yeah.” It was hard to admit out loud. Even harder than he’d expected.

“And you-?”

A wave of hot shame crackled through his circuits. “Yeah.”

Silence. The CMO was apparently too stunned to reply.

“It wasn’t like I wanted to!” Wheeljack blurted out, vocal indicators flickering. “He – I just – I cou- I couldn’t move, Ratch, and it - it’d been a really long time, and he just - he kept – he wouldn’t stop, I wanted him to stop, but I couldn-” He broke off abruptly, static clogging his vocalizer, breaking up his words and dissolving them into meaningless white noise.

Primus, in front of Ratchet, of all mechs! It was almost as humiliating as what Starscream had done to him. Almost worse than talking about it. Mortified, Wheeljack turned his back on the medic, hunching his shoulders defensively as he struggled to get himself under control.

“’Jack,” Ratchet said gently, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Of course it was my fault! I let him-!”

Ratchet seized his shoulders roughly, jerking the engineer around to face him, cutting off his protest and giving him a firm, solid shake for good measure. “Listen to me, Wheeljack. It. Wasn’t. Your. Fault.”

The medic’s vocalizer reverted to its usual stern, no-nonsense tone as he continued, enunciating each word for emphasis, “Your energy reserves were drained to critical levels. You were immobilized. You could probably barely process a complete sentence! Your autonomic systems responded the way they were programmed to, and in the state your circuits were in, there was no way you could have overridden them. Do you understand?

Wheeljack stared back at him, optics wide and flickering.

Ratchet’s expression softened. “You couldn’t have stopped him, ‘Jack. I know it’s hard for you accept that. I know you like to think you can handle anything. But sometimes you can’t. Sooner or later we all run into something we can’t handle alone. And that’s when we ask our friends for help.”

A/N: Erm, so...technically speaking this could go on for a while. Psychological trauma isn’t exactly a quick fix. I thought part 7 ended on a pretty good let’s-start-the-healing sort of note, but I wanted to do something about all the self-blame ‘Jack was heaping on himself, and part 8 kinda flowed out from that.

I’m posting page by page as I write at this point, which is a real switch for me because I usually write the full fic and then post. I think I managed to hit a halfway decent “end” note here, so I’d like to know what people think. Can we stick a fork in this baby, or does it need a little more time in the oven?

I'm also a little concerned this might be a bit triggery for some people, which would be bad. :(
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 8 - (Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 8 - (Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 10:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 8 - (Anonymous) on March 20th, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 8 - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 07:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 9 - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 07:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 07:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 07:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 08:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 11:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 11:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 24th, 2009 12:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 24th, 2009 02:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 27th, 2009 10:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on March 23rd, 2009 11:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Fic: If it looks like rape and sounds like rape... pt 10 (end) - (Anonymous) on April 10th, 2009 02:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)